The Tie That Binds

This year started out as the last year ended. TeenyTears Diapers. Working on these tiny diapers for special angels has been really healing  for me. . We started getting requests for small hospitals in Washington. I was really touched by this, as we had vacationed twice in Eastern Washington the past summer and as I saw the road signs for all these little hospitals I thought perhaps a few Moms in early labor MUST make it into these hospitals and need diapers. I told Jana that next time we plan vacation, I will phone ahead and see if they have a hospital and need diapers. I would LOVE to make a diaper delivery in person.

Christmas was really hard for me this year. My Grandson Carter passed away in June 2011. I think I was so busy that first year, trying to help my daughter and her family and be sure they were ok, I did not have a lot of time to process what I had been thru.You never stop being a mom! I was elated that my daughter was having a baby and then TWINS! Nothing can take the memories of that JOY away from me. While still struggling with my grief. I am also thankful for the times we shared thru Cohen and Carters birth. I did not have a page in  my “mom advice book” dealing with the loss of a child. I had never been there. I am learning so much watching my daughter walk thru these times with faith, strength, love and hope.

Having these “local” hospitals has been really healing for me to work on. I think of the times I have been to those cities. It made me remember my dear mother in law. I grieve for her, too. She was a nurse in the newborn nursery for 35 years at Stevens Memorial Hospital in Edmonds, WA. She used to come home and say how they had another “tiny” one today and how she wished she had enough time, she would love to design and make preemie clothes. There was no “preemie” section, back at that time. I felt such a close connection with her while sewing these tiny diapers. I had saved some of the fabric from her “stash” and I found some of it to use on tiny swaddlers to ship with the diapers.  I know she would have embraced this project with love!  We enjoyed shopping for fabric together, discussing sewing projects, trading patterns and buying that special piece of fabric we knew the other would love.  Our love of sewing was a strong connection for us. I now share this love of fabric, FLANNEL and the planning and sewing with my daughter. 

My super husband who had flipped HUNDREDS of diapers and his mom, Gramma R. 

Gramma  would have been so delighted at Jana having twins. Never in our families has there ever been twins! As I sewed the diapers I kept thinking of how Gramma Rinehart is up in heaven rocking our precious angel, Carter, until the rest of the family arrives! Until then, I will keep making Teeny diapers with the hope that it will ease another families pain at losing their precious child.

Pullman, Centralia, Omak, Colville

Some fun for Gramma and Grandkids

Strawberries are out there and I could not resist yesterday.

Even though we are leaving tomorrow for a week of camping, to Spectacle Lake Resort,  and I have yet to pack.

These also arrived in the mail yesterday and I wanted to put something IN them for the cooler.  I am always looking for ways to make the grandkids some treats, without all the sugar. 
You freeze them and them you squish it out, or drink it out later. They have a nice non-leaky lid. I know we have all gotten the "popsicle" makers. Always going to make our own healthy stuff and then all 1000 pieces end up in the "tupperware" drawer until the last child chews the last plastic stick in half.

 I have been doing, eating,  100 days of  real food since Easter. I don't necessarily agree with all she does, but she has some good recipes. I prefer to not add all the honey and maple syrup she does. Also she eats tons of bread things. I tried all that the first week and gained 6 pounds, so not for me! I did not start this as a "diet" or to loose weight, it is just kind of what we have been moving towards for a few years, and I wanted to see if it would work for us. It was not that big of a shock for me. I don't drink pop, eat artificial sweeteners, or too much junk. I never used a lot of boxed foods and cereals. So no withdrawal for me.  I feed my husband well, and he still stops for his own ice cream.

Any way, today Cohen and I opened up the box of  Silicone ice pop makers and had some fun.

I mixed up some fresh strawberries and some of my Grace Harbor Farms plain, NOT homogenized (so the cream rises to the top-yum) Yogurt. In my food processor. ( I love this stuff plain. )We got a big bowl of this:

I put it in the pop maker and froze it. I had my taste testers standing by. 

No complaints, he sucked the whole thing down. 

Then pleaded for more. He always gives us this pitiful, I am SO hungry look. 

I guess he had worked off his strawberry breakfast crepes. 

I put the leftover mix into lined muffin tins and froze it. When the kids come, we peel off the wrapper, put it in a dish and it gives all the thrill of ice cream, only no sugar and other not so good for you things. 

Maybe even Grampa will like it enough to give up some of his ice cream! 

Well, now I really better get camping. I am REALLY looking forward to this trip. Especially because when I return, maybe, maybe the raspberries will be ready!! 

Freezer jam done!

Car packed and ready, done!

A little motherly reminder: Always check you boat or trailer to make sure the tail lights are working (we may be up all night) 

AND

Label everything you put in your freezer, believe me, you will NEVER remember what it is, or when you put it in there! 

Ways to Save Money

I know we all walk around and turn off lights and shut the doors. Most of the "money saving tips" I read, I have done for years. With 5 kids and all that goes with that, we had to. NOW we are kind of feeling like retiring in a few (many) years might be a reality. At least from a job where people expect you show up! With getting older, you finally realize you need to take care of yourself and eat well. I found this list on a place I was looking to find heirloom seeds. If I am gardening, I want to grow good food and not Genetically Modified food. So I found this site. I wish I could take credit for all the ideas, but they are found here.

We are not fanatics about the food we eat or anything, but are just trying to do better. I know you can NOT separate a Rinehart from his ice cream!! 

Some places we have been using...

The Green Barn

Farmer Bens

Twin Brook Creamery

Second Chance Thrift Store (the ultimate recycling!)

The Lyncs Recycle Center

Food Inc

Yes, Amazing, I know! It was the only produce picture I had this year. The FIRST tomatoes after a rainy, rainy, rainy, summer. I was happy to have any! 

I finally did get with it, after a long spring and summer with a lot of time spent on the road...

BUT by fall, THIS little guy came home! He loves his Twinbrook Creamery egg nog!

From Backyardheirloomseeds.net

Saving Money Tips- STRETCH your dollars!!

USE THE SUBSTITUTE CLEANING RECIPES BELOW AND SAVE BUCKETS OF CASH A YEAR~~ REALLY!! Save $30-$40 a mo. on cleaners!

Make your own laundry soap! Works and smells GREAT andonly .01 cent a load. I used this site and added a bit of dry calgon for scent. I have 5 little ones and like the clean looking and smelling clothes this soap gives our family (many times daily).

I USE THIS ONE DAILY AND IT SAVE US BIG BUCKS! 

Use VINEGER rather than costly cleaning products!   Works just as good if not better.     (google: 101 ways to use vineger)

Use your crock pot 2 times a week.

Garden!! go figure....

Have a family game nite rather than going out.

(a 2 fold blessing)

Make your OWN coffee at home. Keep supplies on hand at home and resist, resist, resist the urge to stop at a stand!

Refill your water bottle and brown bag your daily lunch.

Slow down on junk food purchases! Pop, cookies.....maybe only "do junk" on family game nite.

NO NO NO to credit cards! pay it off- but you already know this.

Draw names and MAKE Christmas gifts this year!! Make it fun!

Top picks from about.com  are...cookies in a jar...bath salts...daddys caddy... stepping stones... Nana's angels tshirt...coco jars.. printable calendars...printable coupons...candy jar...hollow book....tea cup / jar candles...memory jar...slime,dough,paint....coffee can stilts.

Buy the items you use alot in bulk.

Make a shopping list and stick to it!

Don's spend big money entertaining your children.

Children want most is your time, not your stuff- play/read with them.

Use craigslist and re-use sites for items you need.

Lower that thermostat a few degrees and wear socks!

Shop with coupons and store flyers.

When shopping for standard items (clothes, sports equipment, older games, etc.), start by shopping used.

Swap babysitting with neighbors and friends.

Learn how to cut hair. With my large family we save 1,000 a yr....wow!

Maintain your own car.

Use the library for books and movie rentals- redbox is good too.

Downsize.

Go hiking and camping for this years vacation.

Cancel your phone and use your cell phone. (majic jack works)

**Remember- you can do it! Use a determined % of the money saved each month and get out of debt.**

From there you can save- save- save!!

Good luck!! I bet you can save at least  $1,000 dollars easily.

"Surviving the Holidays"

It's not something I will "get over".  It's something we are all living: missing Carter.

Cohen's first visit to Grammas house was this week. I put up the bed, put up a Christmas tree, had on the Christmas music. It was baking day, so the house was full of cookies. Cohen came, and well the bed would not stay up, and I could not get the lights on the tree to work. All that is pretty normal, here. But the music, cookies, Cohen and Jana and Gramma 2 were here. Then it started SNOWING! It was perfect! Almost. That started a week of  grieving Carter so much. I picked up the pumpkin we had put on his grave. Got his teddy bear, to wash. It was all frozen in snow. I just lost it. I don't want to but bears on his grave, I don't want to put a tiny tree there. I want him! I want him in his first Christmas booties! Or both wearing their Gonzaga Bulldogs T shirts! Here beside his brother. I want to make HIM a blanket! I want Jana to have both her boys. I know he is with Jesus. That IS the reason for the season! Jesus was born at Christmas so that we might LIVE! Carter can be with Him forever. But the pain is so overwhelming at times.

We are making blankets for other babies, sewing and baking. It is almost Christmas. I had not given much thought to that, till Jana brought home a flyer for  Griefshare, "surviving the holidays". Will I survive? I am old enough to know to take the help that is offered, cry with a friend, cry with my husband, cry with my family. Turn to the lord. He knows all our sorrows and he does care. Maybe someday I can write about how I survived the holidays!! Right now I am  just living the holidays.

Then Cohen got to visit again last night, Grampa got the bed fixed, the lights on the tree to work and he got to sleep in my arms thru the football game! So much love. He even gave me lots of smiles! This journey  is so up and down, so happy and sad. Full of thankfulness and miracles!

The Quilt

I love to quilt. Find the fabric, cut it, put it together. Put warm flannel on the back. And then give it away. I have made quilts for all my grandchildren. Special, amazing beautiful kids. Last week was a sad and happy week. I finished Cohen's quilt. He is grandchild number 5, his brother Carter, grandchild number 6. Each one so precious and special. I had great plans to have the quilts all done for the boys, in opposite pattern. I cut them both out, laid them on the floor, gathered them up in the exact order, and made sure the colors were in opposite spots, so we could tell them apart. I would present them to Jana at her shower. God had other plans for our family the past 6 months. Cohen and Carter (I LOVE saying their names together!) were born at 25 weeks. Much to soon. Carter passed away at birth. Cohen continued the fight for his life.130 days in the NICU at the University of Washington. Carters quilt was done, early, before the showers, before the homecoming.I sewed it in one night. Thru more tears and anguish than I ever imagined. But it was done for him. For his burial.   I finished his quilt in a teenie tiny version, a 2 lb and 13 1/4" version. He was wrapped in it and laid to rest.  Forever loved. Forever with Jesus. How we miss him! Over the days and months, I tried to finish Cohen's blanket. I wanted him to have it to come home in.  I could not quite muster the energy. When I realized he was coming HOME I got to work on it. It seemed so much bigger, than I had first laid out. But I kept on sewing.  Heck, he can use it for a toddler bed, or take it to college... I showed it to Jana, and pointed out how I had included a square from Gramma Rineharts fabric stash. Jana had written about Gramma and Carter after I had typed this post, but did not publish it. (which does not surprise me, we had many "thinking of Carter" moments at the same time.) I was thinking of Carter, Gramma and quilts all week. How much I miss her. How much I miss Carter. She would have cried with us and talked with us and loved and prayed for Cohen and his journey. What I love about quilting is the history, the stories each quilt has to tell. Cohen's quilt was extra big, because I had not realized, until it was done,  I had included all the extra pieces of Carters quilt. As I sewed Cohen's quilt, I kept thinking of Carter and his identical tiny little quilt. Cohen's quilt  had Carters pieces in it, a piece from Gramma, and I had also stuck in one piece of fabric I used to make a quilt for Jana in college. So there are the generations. The 4 generations, which have so shaped our families story. My special connection with Gramma was the quilting and the love of sewing, and of course her son! She loved each and every grandchild and great grandchild. she would have been SO excited about Jana having twins. The first EVER in ANY Rinehart history! I understand her great love and excitement for each and every grandchild. I love them all so much. Gramma Rinehart is watching and rocking Carter for us, for now. And we are loving Cohen to bits!